blogspot kinda deleted the first post i posted, so it won't be as good :/ ..
so i've decided to actually update my blogspot from the longest time because it seems that everyone likes to click on this and try to read what i have to say! [: but first, i'd like to thank joanna pantig for helping me, if it weren't for her. there wouldn't be a blog right here, right now. [=
MY WEEKEND ?! hehe, i spent my saturday with best years, cfbc people, and whoever else. it was really fun and cool at the gettys museum and LA, i had too much fun.. but i was really scarce and hesitant on going because i was letting my best friend carla down, and i was pretty down myself in the beginning. i still am sad, because i don't know if i'll be seeing her before my summer ends. but i'm not too dramatic about it! i hope [= well here are a few pictures from saturday;
so i've decided to actually update my blogspot from the longest time because it seems that everyone likes to click on this and try to read what i have to say! [: but first, i'd like to thank joanna pantig for helping me, if it weren't for her. there wouldn't be a blog right here, right now. [=
MY WEEKEND ?! hehe, i spent my saturday with best years, cfbc people, and whoever else. it was really fun and cool at the gettys museum and LA, i had too much fun.. but i was really scarce and hesitant on going because i was letting my best friend carla down, and i was pretty down myself in the beginning. i still am sad, because i don't know if i'll be seeing her before my summer ends. but i'm not too dramatic about it! i hope [= well here are a few pictures from saturday;
don't you love spiders [: hehe we went spider hunting at kathleen's.
sunday; i found my friend lily trying to wake me up at around 8:30 in the morning because she was in the neighborhood and decided to drop by [x she always does this to me, i swear! so i woke up and we just lye down next to eachother because i'm still not fully awake but when i do wake up, i check my phone immediately. i find 3 texts, but all that really matters was from carla [: heeeeh, don't you just love those "good mornings" ? [: well.. people get bored and always ask me, "hey cristine/ceejay, what are you doing today?!" and i tell them my plans, and so.. as always, according to plan. THERE IS NO PLANS! hehe, well i was supposed to hangout with people in westminster / garden grove, but you know how it is with rides and being w/ april, jojo, lily.. they're like my neighbors [: OH, btw.. i'm glad that i'm slowly learning more about my friend jojo. but john's house? the climax was just playing dress up for the photoshoot, and pretty much me crying over the movie the notebook.
i did photoshoots with my new canon rebel t2, film slr camera. <3
it looks kind of blurry and not as cute because i took a picture of a picture, i kinda got lazy to scan it [: anyways!
todays monday [kinda tuesday because it's 1:36 am]; heres my sweetest update.*
everyone decided they wanted to go to john's house again.. and so we did, except instead of having lily, we brought kathleen and james. guess who was third wheel! me and john.. well not much of john because well, let's just say he has a lover somewhere out there [= HEHE. all i really cared about was trying to get my film developed so yeah, but out of the blue.. i felt a slight sense of me to have the urge of something.. something that's not easily let out, you know? well.. i fear of becoming someone i'm not, but there are times where i may prevent that from happening but you never know when this power excels sometimes. and i'm just trying to feel closer to god again, but i know it takes patience and time, so i wait. but this hourglass doesn't seem to be working. but i won't lose faith now, i've just suddenly grown hate for love, recently. and recently, i'm finding out more about myself more than ever. i'm really happy, but i don't know why i'm doubting something. i'm really confused.
i'm so happy that i have a friend like kathleen reichenberger though. she helps me throughout the most randomest times, i love it. i love how sometimes i doubt she's there, but she helps me become a better person. she doesn't exactly bring out the best of me, but i know that theres something about her that makes me wanna say she's a keeper [= i texted her about how uneasy i'm feeling towards what i'm going through. and this is what her response was ;
"i know its hard to find god in a world full of sin but you have to endure the temptations. think about if your actions glorify god and keep your heart set on him. trust in christ at your hardest moments and through trials. let jesus take the wheel in your life, try to be more like him. it is hard but you remember how much he has done for you. they say count your blessings but no number can count that high. he gave us salvation, clothes on our back. he is amazing. don't forget."
now what type of person tells you that? i say, kathleen is my best friend [= i love her.
oh and by the way, kathleen kind of made me feel really self-conscious about my choice of boys? she called me a slut.. and well i kind of thought of it and it really hit me because i always deny it and maybe i should just accept what she says and learn from it. so i'm not saying i'm gonna change for her, but for better. i really don't need boys in my life at the moment, because usually when it's going good, theres someone out there who usually messes it up for me. and anyways, it's sad because i'm flirty.. and kathleen even pointed it out that i flirt with girls too! [i'm not lesbian / bi / gay, LOL] but it just slips out and i get girls to like me or i turn boys gay.. i don't know anymore, people. but.. whatever, you know? i already have special people in my life [=
i'm scared, and i feel that maybe this is just a phase, or could it really be? i wanna take my chances, but i'm just overly afraid of the outcome. things like these should just be bottled up, for the better. :/ confusing, i know. but this is one of my secrets..
learning about secrets and lies today at barnes and nobles was accelerating for me, it made my heart beat race and jump x10 than it should. i noticed that i'm filled with many secrets, and maybe it's a good idea to make a book w/ some friends filled with our secrets [: well right now, my heart is hurting.
overall - i'm just trying to soak up my summer w/o drama, and contemplative nights thinking and regretting things. i just keep on going, for the fullest, and just float wherever the.. polluted air is flowing hehe. oh and, i might've left out a few minor details about stuff but, who cares [= it's a blog.
it's really what cristine thinks,
these type of things and people and such make me excited;
todays monday [kinda tuesday because it's 1:36 am]; heres my sweetest update.*
everyone decided they wanted to go to john's house again.. and so we did, except instead of having lily, we brought kathleen and james. guess who was third wheel! me and john.. well not much of john because well, let's just say he has a lover somewhere out there [= HEHE. all i really cared about was trying to get my film developed so yeah, but out of the blue.. i felt a slight sense of me to have the urge of something.. something that's not easily let out, you know? well.. i fear of becoming someone i'm not, but there are times where i may prevent that from happening but you never know when this power excels sometimes. and i'm just trying to feel closer to god again, but i know it takes patience and time, so i wait. but this hourglass doesn't seem to be working. but i won't lose faith now, i've just suddenly grown hate for love, recently. and recently, i'm finding out more about myself more than ever. i'm really happy, but i don't know why i'm doubting something. i'm really confused.
i'm so happy that i have a friend like kathleen reichenberger though. she helps me throughout the most randomest times, i love it. i love how sometimes i doubt she's there, but she helps me become a better person. she doesn't exactly bring out the best of me, but i know that theres something about her that makes me wanna say she's a keeper [= i texted her about how uneasy i'm feeling towards what i'm going through. and this is what her response was ;
"i know its hard to find god in a world full of sin but you have to endure the temptations. think about if your actions glorify god and keep your heart set on him. trust in christ at your hardest moments and through trials. let jesus take the wheel in your life, try to be more like him. it is hard but you remember how much he has done for you. they say count your blessings but no number can count that high. he gave us salvation, clothes on our back. he is amazing. don't forget."
now what type of person tells you that? i say, kathleen is my best friend [= i love her.
oh and by the way, kathleen kind of made me feel really self-conscious about my choice of boys? she called me a slut.. and well i kind of thought of it and it really hit me because i always deny it and maybe i should just accept what she says and learn from it. so i'm not saying i'm gonna change for her, but for better. i really don't need boys in my life at the moment, because usually when it's going good, theres someone out there who usually messes it up for me. and anyways, it's sad because i'm flirty.. and kathleen even pointed it out that i flirt with girls too! [i'm not lesbian / bi / gay, LOL] but it just slips out and i get girls to like me or i turn boys gay.. i don't know anymore, people. but.. whatever, you know? i already have special people in my life [=
i'm scared, and i feel that maybe this is just a phase, or could it really be? i wanna take my chances, but i'm just overly afraid of the outcome. things like these should just be bottled up, for the better. :/ confusing, i know. but this is one of my secrets..
learning about secrets and lies today at barnes and nobles was accelerating for me, it made my heart beat race and jump x10 than it should. i noticed that i'm filled with many secrets, and maybe it's a good idea to make a book w/ some friends filled with our secrets [: well right now, my heart is hurting.
overall - i'm just trying to soak up my summer w/o drama, and contemplative nights thinking and regretting things. i just keep on going, for the fullest, and just float wherever the.. polluted air is flowing hehe. oh and, i might've left out a few minor details about stuff but, who cares [= it's a blog.
it's really what cristine thinks,
these type of things and people and such make me excited;
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